I heard that “Joe the Plumber” of 2008 presidential election fame ran for Congress this year but that he fell short. Well, if he’s looking for work (and he’s a better plumber than he is a politician), there’s plenty for him to do here in Ecuador, as I would say that the Ecuadorian plumbing system runs about as well as the U.S. Congress.
Part of our reason for coming to Ecuador is to experience things differently, and on that note we have not been disappointed. Upon our arrival to our apartment, we quickly realized that we did not have hot water because we did not purchase the gas tank that needed to be connected to the hot water heater. The tank is similar to the propane tanks that you would hook up to a backyard gas grill at home, and adjusting the water temperature has proved more challenging than getting that medium rare burger the right shade of pink. But at $2.50 a tank – I could sure grill up a lot of burgers. And there is a reason why grilling remains an outdoor sport, as we were advised to keep our windows open when the water heater was in use. No asphyxiation for us.
We soon found out that taking a (good) shower would require the convergence of many things occurring (or not occurring) at the same time, as it is all about the water pressure; good water pressure – hot water; poor pressure – no hot water. First, no one in the apartment can use water while someone is in the shower. That means no washing hands, no washing dishes, or God forbid, flushing the toilet. With that established you could venture into the symphonic world of showering in Ecuador. By that I mean that showering requires the ability to orchestrate water temperatures like a symphony, as the introduction of cold water may moderate the hot water to varying (and random) degrees, or shut off the hot water completely! Too cold – Fortissimo, too hot – mezzo-piano, just right – allegro. It’s all of Vivaldi’s Four Season in one cleansing virtuoso. Sometimes I add some fancy dance steps to this performance. My favorite is the Hokey Pokie - put your right foot in…and shake it all about. Perhaps Salsa might be more appropriate. Yet, even if I get perfect pitch and all the right dance moves, I may still fall victim to an empty gas tank. At that point, all hot water ceases to exist and I resort to a cold shower without any of the sexual tension usually associated with it. But, if I am lucky, it’s not the empty gas tank, but just the temporary loss of water pressure that may come back, bringing geyser type bursts of scolding hot water (and me back to my symphonic orchestrations). But even worse than the loss of hot water, is the trickle of water that drips down when there is a seismic drop of pressure, just when I’ve fully lathered up my body and filled my hair with shampoo. At that point, even a cold shower is looking good.
Now moving from the clean to the…not so clean. Let’s just say that “deposits” are a challenge to the plumbing systems. So image our chagrin when we were are told that after our “deposits”, we need to dispose of our paper in the trash bin, because of the inability of the “depositories” to adequately flush down the paper. So even minimal deposits would disrupt the flow of either of our two depositories (or both) at any one time. So challenged were we by this plumbing dilemma that when it came time for us to look for a new place to live, the number of depositories became a prime factor. Only one was out of the question, and two has proven to be insufficient. We almost settled on a place with FIVE depositories so that we each could have (and be responsible) for our own personal accounts, and have one depository for guests only. We settled on a three depository apartment, and despite its own plumbing issues, it seems to meet our needs.
I heard that there is an effort to develop and install gas lines into Ecuadorian homes that may improve the delivery of hot water; I haven’t heard of any such endeavor to improve upon their depository system (sounds like Washington gridlock in more ways than one). However, I hope that there aren’t too many attempts to become more “advanced” because people like me need to go places and have experiences that get us out of our comfort zone and into a reality zone. But Joe, if you’re still looking for some plumbing work, come on down. I am sure it will be a lot easier than trying to fix our political mess at home.
Part of our reason for coming to Ecuador is to experience things differently, and on that note we have not been disappointed. Upon our arrival to our apartment, we quickly realized that we did not have hot water because we did not purchase the gas tank that needed to be connected to the hot water heater. The tank is similar to the propane tanks that you would hook up to a backyard gas grill at home, and adjusting the water temperature has proved more challenging than getting that medium rare burger the right shade of pink. But at $2.50 a tank – I could sure grill up a lot of burgers. And there is a reason why grilling remains an outdoor sport, as we were advised to keep our windows open when the water heater was in use. No asphyxiation for us.
We soon found out that taking a (good) shower would require the convergence of many things occurring (or not occurring) at the same time, as it is all about the water pressure; good water pressure – hot water; poor pressure – no hot water. First, no one in the apartment can use water while someone is in the shower. That means no washing hands, no washing dishes, or God forbid, flushing the toilet. With that established you could venture into the symphonic world of showering in Ecuador. By that I mean that showering requires the ability to orchestrate water temperatures like a symphony, as the introduction of cold water may moderate the hot water to varying (and random) degrees, or shut off the hot water completely! Too cold – Fortissimo, too hot – mezzo-piano, just right – allegro. It’s all of Vivaldi’s Four Season in one cleansing virtuoso. Sometimes I add some fancy dance steps to this performance. My favorite is the Hokey Pokie - put your right foot in…and shake it all about. Perhaps Salsa might be more appropriate. Yet, even if I get perfect pitch and all the right dance moves, I may still fall victim to an empty gas tank. At that point, all hot water ceases to exist and I resort to a cold shower without any of the sexual tension usually associated with it. But, if I am lucky, it’s not the empty gas tank, but just the temporary loss of water pressure that may come back, bringing geyser type bursts of scolding hot water (and me back to my symphonic orchestrations). But even worse than the loss of hot water, is the trickle of water that drips down when there is a seismic drop of pressure, just when I’ve fully lathered up my body and filled my hair with shampoo. At that point, even a cold shower is looking good.
Now moving from the clean to the…not so clean. Let’s just say that “deposits” are a challenge to the plumbing systems. So image our chagrin when we were are told that after our “deposits”, we need to dispose of our paper in the trash bin, because of the inability of the “depositories” to adequately flush down the paper. So even minimal deposits would disrupt the flow of either of our two depositories (or both) at any one time. So challenged were we by this plumbing dilemma that when it came time for us to look for a new place to live, the number of depositories became a prime factor. Only one was out of the question, and two has proven to be insufficient. We almost settled on a place with FIVE depositories so that we each could have (and be responsible) for our own personal accounts, and have one depository for guests only. We settled on a three depository apartment, and despite its own plumbing issues, it seems to meet our needs.
I heard that there is an effort to develop and install gas lines into Ecuadorian homes that may improve the delivery of hot water; I haven’t heard of any such endeavor to improve upon their depository system (sounds like Washington gridlock in more ways than one). However, I hope that there aren’t too many attempts to become more “advanced” because people like me need to go places and have experiences that get us out of our comfort zone and into a reality zone. But Joe, if you’re still looking for some plumbing work, come on down. I am sure it will be a lot easier than trying to fix our political mess at home.